They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
