Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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