i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
