Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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