Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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