Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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