3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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