I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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