I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
