So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
