how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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