So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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