I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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