ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
