"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
