He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
