too bad you live with your parents still
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
