There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
