Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
