ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
