I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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