Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
