Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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