Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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