We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
