I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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