YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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