guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
