i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
