So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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