I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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