Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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