he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You smell like stripper and shame
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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