no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
50% drunk capacity currently
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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