So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I didn't notice because vodka
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
