the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
