so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
