if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he thought i was a dude.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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