Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
