Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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