is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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