READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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