pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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