To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize