HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
