i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i have herpe
just one?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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