He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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