You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
