after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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