if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
