Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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