Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
