i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
