This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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