she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
