You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
